Can+Did, a TN Voices Podcast
Antwan Cook
In this episode, Cohost Will Voss talks with his barber about the mental health connection that happens in the styling chair. Not only can a barber provide necessary human touch, but some of the deepest and most meaningful conversations can occur when someone is in a vulnerable position with the expert in charge of their appearance. Voss talks with his celebrated barber, entrepreneur and musician Antwan Cook of Legends' Club Nashville. Settle in as we get CAN+DID with the specialist who keeps our host looking sharp.
In this episode, Cohost Will Voss talks with his barber about the mental health connection that happens in the styling chair. Not only can a barber provide necessary human touch, but some of the deepest and most meaningful conversations can occur when someone is in a vulnerable position with the expert in charge of their appearance. Voss talks with his celebrated barber, entrepreneur and musician Antwan Cook of Legends' Club Nashville. Settle in as we get CAN+DID with the specialist who keeps our host looking sharp.
Candide is a podcast of Tennessee voices about mental health, featuring stories of people who have overcome mental health challenges, as well as those who have helped people overcome mental health challenges. This podcast is about authenticity. And it's intended to give a voice to those who are passionate about mental well being. We hope that by sharing stories, listeners will understand mental health and how important it is and help us reduce stigma. We want you to know that so many who have struggled with mental health can and did overcome their challenges. And if you are struggling, you can too. I'm your host, Ricky Harris, CEO of Tennessee voices, and with me is my favorite co host, will Voss CEO of Tennessee voices. Welcome to our podcast, let's get candid. So 2020 and 2021 have obviously been unprecedented years in our nation, people have really struggled on everything that's going on in the last 18 months or so. And we started to understand that more people are reaching out needing mental health services because there's, there's a feeling that they don't know how to deal with. It's something new. It's something that is not pleasant. And sometimes it's described as you know, feeling anxious or depressed. But not everyone is clinically anxious or depressed, but rather they're feeling a feeling called languishing.
Brian Sullivan:Watch story of hope streaming now on the Tennessee voices network AT T Ed voices.org. And while you're there, check out resources like our online library, mental health factsheets and a guided meditation to help you move from languishing to flourishing.
Rikki Harris:Fabulous. Welcome to this episode of candid. I'm your host, Ricky Harris, and my co host,
Will Voss:will vos EO.
Rikki Harris:I'm super excited about this episode will because we interviewed our hair people, my hairdresser, your barbers. And we did that for a number of reasons. Certainly, I had some thoughts about why What were you thinking when I said, Hey, let's interview people who do our hair,
Will Voss:you know, my mind immediately thought they probably they probably could be licensed as much as they hear. They hear a lot, you hear a lot of a lot of concerns from their clients. And they're probably experts in the field by now. Right?
Rikki Harris:Right. I had the same thought or what
Will Voss:came up for us. Um, you mentioned gossip, and I spoke to Antoine about, you know, growing up going to the barbershop with my dad on a Saturday night driving in, that was the only day you could go. And my mother would joke with us often and say, you know, I believe that y'all gossip more at the barber shop, up shop. And you know, with Anton, he he's got his own shop now. And he talked about how people come in, and they're looking for listening here. And I thought about it, and I said, You know what, we were getting comfortable, you know, we're in a comfort zone, and we just start talking. We feel comfortable with a trusted individual. And we just need that listening ear and somebody that's making us feel good. And you know, just letting us know, you know, yep, I'm an additional support that you never even thought about. Because the motto was always what said in the barber shop stays in the barber shop. You know, when you're with your barber, that's a relationship that you built, and it's grown over the years. So it's those conversations about mental health. They come up more often than we even think.
Rikki Harris:Yeah, yeah. And and in your case, your barber actually has some experience on the field.
Will Voss:Yes, he's got experience in the field, you know, which he he'll talk about during his his segment. And also they'll talk about his own experience. So often we we equate, you know, barbers and hairstylist to an artist, it is an art that they are doing for us. My friends would joke a barber can make or break you getting a date. You want to be able to come out, you know, looking looking much better than the way you went in. And you know, he talks about his own lived experience and what it what it was like for him growing up in the South in a black man going through mental health struggles and not having anybody to talk about it. Trying to find these avenues. And you know what? Cutting hair became one of those avenues as a getaway to everything that was everything bad that was going on. And it became an art it became a talent and he's on the flip side helping people you know, even when he was doing social marketing with us, you'll hear me about how that was a life changing experience, to no longer be cutting hair and listening, but getting the word out about mental health via social marketing. It's something that we don't think about doing. But we're on our phones all day all night. Yep, to be able to have someone scroll up and see something about mental health. It's encouraging. You never know who you're going to reach. Yeah,
Rikki Harris:yeah, it's so true. So that's interesting. One of the things you said, struck me that we should probably tell listeners that we have some resources and things available. Yes, people are needing to seek out help on different topics, the first of which is an online library that we can we can access right through our website, tn places.org. And search up things, self help related kinds of books, downloads, free resources that you can access. So that's one way but then maybe you could talk briefly about the app that we're working on.
Will Voss:Yeah, so we're working on an app, the Tennessee screen app, and it is going to be something that's really, truly going to be able to get in what we hope will get in the hands of many individuals that are struggling with mental health concerns. How do we work to prevent suicide? And how do we provide these tools for coping, if someone is thinking about having suicidal ideations or not going through that difficult day, and they don't know what to do? And don't feel that they have anyone to talk to? How can they access these resources through an app right there in the palm of their hands.
Rikki Harris:I'm excited about it. And we're getting really close to a release date. So coming very soon, we're also getting close to our virtual Gala. And we decided, again, this year not to do an in person gathering, but rather to do something online. And what we really wanted to focus on was how can we continue to help strengthen the community, from the feeling of languishing, just being stuck in this state that we're in as a society, dealing with all the things we've dealt with in the last 18 months? And feeling kind of, blah, and how can we move forward? And how can we experience our joy again, like we remember it pre, the last 18 months. So that's coming, and hopefully, very, very soon. Oh, by the way, I should say, That's November 16. It's going to streamers 16. Yes, yes. It's gonna stream on our platforms. You can find information about it on our Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. Do we have a tick tock account?
Will Voss:Yeah, but
Rikki Harris:really do that? Yeah. I mean, I don't know what the content will be. Because Don't you have to have video? See, I'm like not. I have no idea.
Will Voss:That's what we're here for Ricky. We're here. Yes, we have a tic tac that will be coming. So be on the lookout listeners.
Rikki Harris:Yes. And with that, we're also going to release a guided meditation that I wrote, and had the pleasure of working with Bill Fondren, one of our previous candid podcast guest, who did the voice over for that meditation, it is amazing what happens when a professional reads, a guided meditation the way it's supposed to be done, it sounds awesome. So I'm really excited about that, we're going to have some music and some graphic put with that and release that to the public, which again, will be released on all of our social channels, but also tm voices.org. So lots coming. And the reason behind it, maybe we could take three minutes and talk about why this is important to us to provide all these resources to the community. So yes, I mean, first of all, how many people have told you that they're struggling or feeling some kind of way that they don't understand or have not experienced before?
Will Voss:I mean, you hear it so so often, Ricky, and you know, I even thought about, we talk a lot about languishing and think about my self care tips. And where you go, we'll hear from our barber and my barber and his hairstyle is going to the barbershop is a part of my self care. And it got to the point where I started not going as often as, as I used to go, didn't feel like getting up and going and just wanted to beat myself. And I know that that was not like me. I'm always trying to make sure that I've got a crisp line and maybe here and there. But that was at that moment where I realized you know what, it's something something's not right. something's a little off and you hear so often. You You know, I've talked to many friends about languishing, you know, since the conversation started between you and I, and a lot of people are starting to feel, or they're feeling better that they now have a term to equate to how they've been feeling. No, it's not depression, you know, but it's a, it's a different feeling. It's an odd feeling a state of being, and I've never been there before. And some people are losing some joy over there. So to be able to get the word out about, you know, what, hey, I'm experiencing this too. And here are some tips and tools that can help you get through it. And most importantly, let people know that you can get through it. You know, we're living proof that it's possible. And we're also improved to let you know that we're here to support you and walk with you along that journey.
Rikki Harris:Yeah, I agree. I mean, one of the things I think that we can we can do for the community is trying to help move them from languishing to flourishing. And I literally wrote that as a mission statement that we want to help people find their joy. And all of this that's been happening. And I'm excited about that. The podcast, I think, is one effort to do that just to help hear from everybody else about what's been going on with them, and how they're coping. Because this is not a one size fits all. This is a will throw a bunch of ideas at you. We hope you'll try something that helps you and moves you on to a better position. Hopefully you feel like you are flourishing, and finding joy again, and all that all that's going on in the world. So I'm excited about this episode, you guys are going to enjoy it.
Erika Lathon:We'll be right back after this short break.
Vicki Yates:A new podcast is not only shining a light on mental health, but showing others that they can overcome their struggles. NewsChannel five Sina slim gives us a first look at candidate
Seena Sleem:it's called candid but spelled this way for a reason. manded is
Rikki Harris:a podcast of Tennessee voices about mental health.
Seena Sleem:Each episode will have guests telling their stories of struggle when it comes to mental health and sharing how they can have did overcome their challenges shoulders like postpartum depression. For co host Ricky Harris,
Rikki Harris:it was the first time that I really didn't know what to do with my own mental health. I mean, I have a lot of coping skills and I had a lot of education and training in the area. And I needed help during that time. And so seeking out therapy, and even looking at the options of taking medication for me were just really scary and feelings
Seena Sleem:of anxiety for CO hosts well Boss,
Will Voss:what is my purpose, you know, and really kind of filling down a lot of times as far as Oh, I'm never gonna amount to this or never amount to that.
Seena Sleem:During the pandemic mental health struggles have only been amplified people
Rikki Harris:were turning more toward substances during the pandemic. suicides were increasing during the pandemic, concerns for people's lives were really serious.
Seena Sleem:The podcast is another way to help people cope,
Will Voss:okay to not be okay, and you are not alone. We are here we are here to help and to
Seena Sleem:expand resources to those that need it, especially in rural areas, seamlessly. NewsChannel five.
Vicki Yates:Now, if you want to give the podcast a listen, it's available on all major platforms like Spotify and Amazon music. If you or someone you know is dealing with a mental health challenge and want to reach out for help. We have a whole list of resources on our website. NewsChannel five.com.
Erika Lathon:Welcome back.
Will Voss:Arabic. All right. Good morning. Good morning. Yes, yes. Yes. I'm Wilbur Ross. I'm the CEO here at Tennessee voices and joining me this morning is my good friend and my barber yo, Antoine cook. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning on always. I'm good. I'm good. I really appreciate you for joining me on this can dad podcast? Yes, yes. You know, we've been talking a lot with individuals about their own lived experience, how they can continue to support mental health and assisting and decreasing the stigma. And Ricky and I were thinking, you know, who deals a lot with hearing stories, and encountering people who may be struggling with mental health and not even realizing it was our hairstylist and our Barber. And I wanted to reach out to you and really have a good conversation and see how we can help listeners who really may be struggling and not know what to do and also help those in the in a profession that we don't even think that is a helping profession. So Antoine for listeners, I mean, I've known you a while but tell us a little bit about your background. Who is Antoine Cooke? Well, how long have you been doing what you do? What do you do? Oh, I do, I do quite a bit. I'm originally from Mobile, Alabama born and raised live there for quite some time moved to family moved to Hattiesburg, Mississippi with that that area lived there for some while for some time. So yeah, I've been pretty much living in the South, the Deep South, like all of my life. So moving here is the most northern that I've been. So I know some people still consider it as the South no natural for me. I don't consider the North but it's definitely more northern than what I'm used to. So, um, yeah, so I mean, I've been in the hair industry since maybe 2009. That's when I went to school, but I actually started cutting hair. I'm in my dorm in college. So that was a 2000 baht. 2005 Maybe I was cutting my own hair, and people are asking me to do theirs. And the neighbor started asking loan last Oregon longer. So I decided to get my license. And yeah, so now I'm in I have my own place. Now. I have my own shop in Nashville. So yeah, it's been a it's been a pretty eventful journey all these years. Yeah. Yes, definitely. I can definitely agree with that. And you say you have your own shop now. And it's called the legends club. Yes, the lens. That's a unique name. What's the story behind the legends club? Why name it that? Well, really, really the initially the the name came from, like, I'm a musician and a singer. So I do a lot with music. And I listened to a lot of the legends like, you know, Michael Jackson, Prince. I don't know Aerosmith. Rolling Stone, I listen to a lot of like legends so that I started hashtagging that, like years ago. And so when I when I decided to open my own place, I was kind of struggling with names. And I just thought, well, let me just use what I've always been using legends club, and then I then I thought about this as well, like, well, the way I cut hair, I treat all of my clients as if they're like, I treat that that work as if they're extremely important. So I'll take and you know, I'm very, very, very detailed. When it comes down to cutting hair, I'm going after every strand, because in my mind, like, you know, I will I'm cutting their hair, how will my hair because so I kind of look at that, like the my clients are legends. So I call it the legends club. And I also have this, this wall in my suite that I'm that I'm building where all of my clients when they come in, after the haircut, they're assigned the wall, like a legends wall. And then I boomerang gonna take a picture. So that's kind of where the theme legends club came from. You know, and I think about it one, we appreciate it, you definitely make us look like legends when we leave. So thank you so much. My pleasure. I think about growing up in barber shops, of course, you know, my background, you know, growing up in the South moved to the north. And the common theme that at all was going to the barber shop, you know, I remember days where I would go to the barber shop with my dad on a Saturday morning and it was packed, it was busy. And the conversations that you hear we have a lot of fun at the barbershop. Yeah. And we also get into some real deep conversations. And you said you focus on you know, I want to make sure that, you know, everybody feels like a legend because that's how you view them. Talk to me about, you know, difficult conversations that you encounter. You know, how do you deal with the stories that you hear? You know, especially those deep conversations where, you know, men are diving into how they're facing struggles with mental health or things going on at home? You know, how are you dealing with that? Because that's a lot to hold on to while you're trying to cut here in what 3045 minutes? Yeah, um, you know, a lot of time I've realized that is not that the guys that come in, it's not that they really want an answer per se. A lot of times they just want someone to listen. So I kind of you know, as as I'm cutting their hair, and I just I kind of allow things to kind of flow organically however, you know, and I try to be, you know, really personable to where, you know, they can know they feel like they can, you know, share or just have a normal conversation. A lot of times it's not deep a lot of time it's just, you know, just random things, but I do I do have certain situations where you know, they mean, you know, clients mentioned things that they're going through, and, you know, and I just, you know, I've been engaged with them is, you know, you know, just basically open the door for them to express themselves. So they, you know, they feel comfortable. So, and if it's something that I have had experience with, you know, I'll know lightly share my experience, or if it helps, and then then we kind of get into that dialogue. And, um, yeah, and then the next haircut, I asked that I say, Hi, how's it going, you know, how you feeling? You know, and then they kind of just evolved from there. And then I saw, you know, hearing about the progress and good news here. Okay, this happened, and Oh, yeah. So is, is, is definitely a lot because I made like, my clientele is growing, like every week. So I'm definitely hearing different stories from different cultures and different, like people in different backgrounds. So it's definitely a variety. But I realized that the common denominator is that people really just want someone to listen to especially men, and they just want somebody to listen to them, you know, and just kind of get things off their chest, you know, there was, you know, something that I read a few weeks ago, it was, when someone begins to tell you their story, they're venting to so often we want to jump in and give our baits in our opinion. And a lot of times what they're really wanting from us is just someone to listen. Yeah, I explained to kids, when I when I did therapy, youth and young adults that holding all that in is like putting pop rocks in a coke bottle and shaking it up. There's a way in to slowly release, whatever's been holding you've been holding on to all right, a lot of times people are just trying to do a slow release. And we often jump in with those advices that advice in those opinions. And I've read recently, where sometimes it's good to just stop and ask when someone's talking. What are you needing of me? Are you venting so that I can give you advice? Or do you need to listen here? Yeah, so I can tell you, you know, thank you for being that listening ear for me. And I probably can speak on behalf of the rest of your clients. But I was saying thanks. Because sometimes we're coming in and you know what, we're feeling good. We're relaxed. We're in a comfortable state with someone that we do trust. And it's good to be able to have someone who is listening here. Yeah. You stated earlier, you know, he said, especially for men that just want to want to vent. And you know, I think it's you know, no matter what your what your background is what your gender is, I think everybody you know that struggling with something they just want to vent. Yeah. And then I think about the black community, right, you talked about growing up immobile and living in Hattiesburg. Now Nashville and think about growing up in the black community. We don't talk about mental health. No, we don't, you know, there's so many reasons we can dive into as to why we don't talk about it. But I guess I want to get your opinion on, you know, what are what are things that we can do better, you know, in the African American community to make sure that we're speaking positively about mental health? Initially, I mean, just from my, my experience, just being educated, you know, in the area, I'm creating that awareness, and not, you know, kind of sweeping things under the rug, or just kind of, you know, being passive about it. Or not even regarding the topic, because I might, I didn't hear about mental health like this the term alone. Until I was like, maybe close to 30. I mean, no, we were all you hear it in commercials and stuff like that, as far as, like, a conversation, someone I didn't like, that didn't happen until, like, I got much older, you know, just because, I mean, it just it wasn't the topic wasn't the thing, you know, a lot of things just kind of, you know, just gets ignored and, you know, and kind of, maybe you're pointing to another area that, you know, to try to veer off of the topic, but it really is, it's mental health, you know, that's, that's, that's the thing. So, I would just say definitely, I'm allowing, allowing ourselves to be like more educated realizing the severity of it, initially, realizing that is, this is a serious thing, you know, it could you know, at least being aware of it being knowledgeable about it could prevent you know, so many other issues or so many things that we may and it could even prepare our kids in the next generation for you know, if it's something that is actually addressed or more and I feel like as Tommy in this era, I feel like it may the the topic may have Um, you know, increased a little bit more than I was in the past, which is good. But it definitely needs to be, like, definitely engaged consistently, you know, especially in the black community just to, so that we can kind of understand, you know, things that are going on in our minds that we all know that it's not just me, you know, I, it's not just me feeling this way, you know, and so I think that's extremely important thing, some of the best advice, the listeners can hear, is becoming more educated, knowing those signs and symptoms, what to look for, you know, not sweeping things under the rug, because people don't want to feel like oh, you know, this is just me going through it, there's so many people experiencing the same things, and they need to know that, you know, I'm not alone. And someone, they can speak positively about what's going on, and someone, they can help me on this walk, you know, to make sure that I'm reaching my goals that I've set out for myself. I know that we've talked about, you know, dealing with mental health and personal experiences. So my question to you, for listeners, what has worked for you personally, what has helped you reach your goals, while dealing with certain things. Um, I will say, what has really helped me what has really helped me reach goals, um, and see them like, see, see the goals, what they are, and then actually know, and not having something distractions is definitely addressing, addressing the things that I chose to cover up with doing other stuff. See me, I engage in a lot. I mean, I'm just I'm an artist. So it's easy for me to find things to do. And that's, and that's what I did for years. For years, like the majority of my life. I'm 35 now, and awesome. I'm just now getting to the point probably around, I don't know, 3332, where I actually started facing things that I have that I decided to just cover up with another activity or cover another hobby, or come up with another pursuit, you know, so I mean, because I do, I went from music and I went from painting. And when, when things got tough, I just picked up, I bought a saxophone, so learn the saxophone and that when so when I got when that got bored, I got bored that and then the things my mind started coming up out, I started moving Nashville, I mean, I just My whole life has been spent with me, I will say running from the things that I just needed to face, and then I will have that temporary peace, when I found something new to do, because that would distract my mind, I'll be so focused on it, because everything that I do, I tune into it, and I just try to perfect it. So that would distract me from the things that I was not addressing in my mind. But I got to a point where maybe I was maybe I was 34. But I just I just broke down like ages, and it was no other hobby, or no other instrument or no other. Anything that I could find, to give me that piece. Because I mean, because it gets to a point where things just start piling up, and start piling up and piling up and piling up. And you can only run from it for so long to where because my thing is I just wasn't used to talking to people. Like I didn't have that, you know, growing up, it wasn't, hey, if you're going through something, talk to me, you know, if you're feeling something and talk to me, that wasn't the thing with me growing up. So I got so accustomed to the, to the, to the ritual objects, if you go through some fall semester, do you know so, and I got to the point where I just, I just started talking to people, even you, you know, just the oh, by the time that I've known you, like you've educated me so much on just the the mental health aspect. And that that opened me up a little bit more to be able to feel comfortable because this this was a new thing for me a new lifestyle. I mean, my lifestyle, my previous lifestyle was just concealing, and, um, you know, presenting yourself, you know, you know that everybody sees you as the same and I was good at that. But the thing is, I what people saw wasn't really what was going on internally. And so I got to the point where I just had to, I just have stopped talking to people, and I realized, and it's so crazy I look back at it. I'm like, I feel so much better after talking to people but I guess it is but it just wasn't the thing for me but not when now that I've gotten into the habit of when I feel some kind of way or I feel some and I talk talk to somebody about it. Like how all my clients talk to me. And now I'm like, you know, okay, yeah. So it's easier now, it's easier now to say, hey, we'll let me let me let me tell you this is easy. We before, you know, you know, it was just a good, you know, just got to plan it off. But yeah, so I definitely say like, for me, talking to people. And it's amazing, I just did not think they would have that effect. I really not, I'm gonna be honest, I did not think that simply talking to someone about my issues, and things that I'm going through, whether it's depression, or other things, that way, no matter what it was, once I got those things out, and, and with the person who I trust, after the conversation is like, it's so much lighter, like I feel, I felt so much lighter. And it's and then the next demonstration I saw was like, I'm getting lighter and lighter and lighter. And I did not know that something as simple as having a conversation with someone could really have that type of impact on your mind. So that's why I say this, getting that education, and then becoming aware of like, you know, whatever mental issues you have, and just finding that place to where you can actually talk to someone is so so, so crucial. And this from our own experience of holding things in for I'm like I said, I'm 35 like, so I'm just not getting to the point where I'm like, I'm comfortable now to actually express myself. So yeah, I love it. It's I'm is I'm happier now, than what I've ever been in my life. Like, in my entire life, I've had moments, I have moments of happiness, I've had achievements, you know, getting a scholarship, going to college winning talent shows, and, and, you know, getting hair and makeup credits and movies. And so I have all those things. But all those things were just on top of the things that I was deciding to hide. And so it really didn't mean much. But now it means all those goals and achievements mean so much more, that I have more mental freedom. So I'm definitely grateful for that. I can tell you that you just helped so many people listening today. Because we talk a lot about you know how have described it in the past, it's like a plate, you know, a sectional plate. You got carrots, peas, and mashed potatoes on one thing Oh played. And what we try to do is, you know, for instance, if those carrots and those peas are things that we don't like things that we don't want to deal with, we'll take those mashed potatoes and start putting it on top covering it up. And at the day, you know, while we can't see it anymore, it's still there. Yeah, we still have to deal with it. Yeah, you just helped a lot of people understand that too, simply by talking. And then for supporters simply by listening. Yeah, you can help someone achieve happiness. You can help someone be able to have peace. And know that yes, hope is possible. Yeah. Because there are so many people who are losing hope due to the pandemic and other things going on. And there are people who are at the point where you know what I don't even think hope is real. They don't think that it's even possible. Yeah, just provided a lot of hope. And pray now. Appreciate that. Hey, I'm ready to do it. Someone Someone helped me. So I'm glad to have someone else. Oh, yes. Yes, that's that's the bit one of the biggest purposes of this podcast, someone to be able to say, You know what, I can do it. And then being able to look back and say, You know what, I did do it? Yeah. Can it be yourself? You mentioned a few things earlier, and one I want to come back to was not only did you call Nashville north and I was gonna call you out. I'm like, you know, coming coming from rural aids down south. is fine. But you you mentioned, you know, in dealing with things moved to Nashville was one of those, you know, kind of coping mechanisms. You were writing. And you moved up here, I will never forget it. You moved up here in February of 2020. That was when things were still open. Right. You moved up here prior to a tornado. You moved up here prior to the pandemic going on lockdown. Right. And then we also had a bombing here in Nashville downtown. I mean, right around the corner from where we've gone out before. You know, we we've had so much to be grateful and thankful for during all of this. I wanted to ask how has that played an impact On you reaching those goals and being in control of your mental health, dealing with all of those different changes and transitions, because thankfully you did stay, you know, we're not gonna let you go leave Nashville now. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot to have to deal with. And on top of that, you opened up a whole new shop this year. True, true. Honestly, Sylviane is my outlook on all the all the events, the you know, the shutdown and all that. I will say, coming from where I came from the, I think I would have much rather been here during those times, then where I was living at. Um, but but one thing one thing you did for me though, and I'm, I'm grateful that I moved here, right before all of that for just for one reason. I started following all of like, the Nashville pages and stuff like that when I when I moved here. So when, when all of these events took place, I saw something that I haven't, that I've never seen before living in the areas I lived in, I saw people and businesses pause what they were doing, and show concern for the community and go out of their way. Not being compensated not not for cloud or not forgot to be seen, but really, genuinely going out of their way to help those who suffered loss in those times. And our businesses shutting down saying, you know, we're going to, we're going to close down in memory of our just out of respect for so and so. So I'm seeing all these things and seeing how people are natural and just from and they're not just, you know, just people who are just, you know, I don't know, just not really having like businesses, but like business owners and like, is just a booming, I was always just watching these pages, scrolling down the timeline, seeing all the memes and support and raising money here. And if you want to give to this, and all all proceeds is gonna go toward these families. And so I'm seeing all of this. And, and it was that was good for me. That was good for me, because now it helps is helping me train me being a business owner myself, if something like that comes up again, because I've been exposed to it. And I'm drawn to that type of energy, that type of mindset. It's gonna be easy for me when something like that happens. Okay, cool. So we're going to, I'm going to give this amount to someone so because it's so it's like, it's almost like I was able to see that and it helped me to, I guess, adapt that lifestyle and adopt adapt that mindset for when something is, you know, in a way, you know, God forbid, if something like that come up again. You know, it's like, that's, that's awesome. I mean, just to selflessly look out for someone to that magnitude. So yeah, you know, it was it was it was definitely like a definitely tragedies you know, and, but it's so much I feel like it's so much good came out of it, you know, just kind of people being able to come together and you know, join and join forces to actually help better the people who may have suffered loss. So I'm not for me, you know, I, after my place shut down, I worked at boardroom so after the place that I worked at, shut down, I was able to work at Tennessee voices for for a little while. So and that alone, me working at Tennessee voices alone helped my mind to evolve. So I'm kind of grateful for the pandemic, in a sense, in the sense that I was able to stop one area of my life, which was cutting hair, something that I'm used to, to be able to focus on, you know, I was doing social marketing, but I had to read things and, and come up with things to try to put out to encourage people and that's something that I had not really done. I'm not a lot of in the mental health field. So and just having those zoom calls needed here and hearing y'all talk about different things and it was the education that I received from working with Tennessee voices that changed me as a person. So I'm grateful for that time that I was able to you know, you know, meet Ricky and like all of the staff and you and I just all just just to kind of see how you guys interact and engaging and talk about mental health and the end user you guys do is such ease and just kind of you know, just go into it in your hearts in it. It that that changed me. And it kind of helped me get a better view on how I should view mental health, and how I should make it a priority. And how I should, you know, advocate to be an advocate and maybe want other people to be aware of it and want other people to be educated about it. So that that impacted my life in a way that I feel that was necessary for me opening my own place. So me opening my own barber shop and being in relationship with so many people, I felt like I needed that that insight and training from, from Tennessee voices in the midst in a more deeper mental health. Not that I got, like, super deep into it, but just a little bit that I was exposed to, um, it just gave me a different perspective on on mental health in general. And so for me, though, that whole shut down era, it was a learning period for me, in regards to mental health, it was a changing period. For me, it was a period where I was able to start thinking about calling my mom and calling my dad, because this is a conversation that my parents, like my siblings, we don't have these conversations. So after being exposed to it, now my mindset is like, I want to talk to my dad about some stuff, I want to stuff that we've never talked about stuff that we've never talked about, I want to talk to my mom, I want to, I want to see see how my brother, my sister feels about this. So like, so being exposed to it. And that's why I say the education part is so important, because now that I'm exposed to it, and I was able to be exposed to it just from that shutdown time, but now that I'm exposed to it, the way I look at my family is different. I see issues in my family differently. My approach to issues in my family is different. Um, now instead of going to my father and just having a conversation with them. I know I can go to him now and ask them questions. Hey, Dad, how do you? How do you feel about this? Oh, you know, um, even when we were younger, you know, this have we never talked about it? We're like, you know, what, how did you how did you feel about me? You know, just, and I have a better insight, you know, how to handle things. So it's a beautiful thing for me, you know, let me tell you something. So this is one of the earlier podcasts recordings. I probably should get it out now. But I can be emotional. You know, I'm never afraid to say it. You are definitely trying to take me there today. Yeah, that was it was a lot going on lockdown. And of course, we're both extroverts having to isolate, you know, and figure out how do we check in with people it is, it was a lot, it was a lot I can tell you, I'm so thankful and grateful for our friendship. And, you know, even being able to have someone who, you know, you come from similar backgrounds, right? We were both raised in the south. Now. Yeah, I grew up and lived in a North bed, that Southern culture, Kate stay wherever we went. Yeah. And you know, coming from something that a lot of times you don't see in the black community, which is a come from two parent household. You know, having some with on that level, knowing what it was like, and then sibling you know, you have more than I do, but being able to have those conversations with them, someone to connect with, and understanding the importance of you know, connecting with brands and friends become family. Yeah. You stated that, you know, you enjoyed your time here. And it, definitely it makes us feel good hearing those type of things. Because our goal is to make sure that people feel welcome when they're working here. Yeah. Also, I joke with stamp. Often I say we are like a family may not always agree on certain things. But at the end of the day, we put those differences aside to get the job done. And make sure that we are helping each other so that we can best help the families that we work with, because it's bigger than us. It is bigger than us. Yeah, I'm not going to get too deep this morning. Don't do it. I guess my final question to you Antoine, as we begin to wrap up. You and I have connected on a lot of things. And music is a big one. I should have told you to bring your keyboard to this recording. You should I should have I should have maybe next time maybe next time as we bring you on. But I want to ask you this What is a song that is help get you out of those moments where you're feeling down those moments where you needed some type of extra push to keep going. And as you're thinking, I know you and I, we list a little bit of everything and yeah, I named songs for the next 24 hours. So as you think I'm gonna tell you, it was for me, I was listening to what I hear this morning. After, yes, this morning, it was Justin Timberlake. I got a feeling. Okay, he stopped. I'm sorry, I apologize, cane stopped feeling. That is what I was aiming to coming into work. Okay, I will say for me, for me, this all I can probably just replay and replay and just just get this stuff get this awesome feeling and, and I don't know, you just kind of get that perspective, it's probably gonna be man in the mirror. But my nice, yeah, it's probably gonna be like that, that song. Like, just, it just, it just, it helps me clear my mind of like any, any pre existing, just negative of outlets, it helps me to, you know, sell people and not like, you know, try to, I don't know, look at him in a certain way. Because of you know, I don't know, maybe just reminded me, somebody's rude to me or something, oh, I'll just say I'm cutting someone's hair. And I don't know, it's just a rude interaction, you know, the songs like that particular song, it helps me to focus on myself. So that I can still because if both of us are negative, then this isn't this, this haircut is not going to go to zero. So I just did have this on man. And, you know, if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change, you know. And so that's all and not only just though, the lyrics is, you know, it's just jamming. You know, I like those of you that are listening now. He's actually he's dancing right now. Just try to envision that based on what you hear. Yes, that is awesome. Any final words you want to leave listeners today? Um, I would say I would say anybody that's out there listening and you've been, you know, considering maybe talking to someone, maybe I mean, maybe you're, you're maybe this is your first time listening, first time engaging, or hearing this type of conversation. Um, you know, my, my thing would be just based off my own experiences, you know, don't be afraid to, don't be afraid to trust someone. You know, I know, I know, it may it may take time, especially if you may have been through something they have caused you to have, that may have caused stress issues within yourself. But if you able to find someone that you can trust, even if you have to go to, you know, contact in an actual, I don't know, what would you say agencies? Is that the proper way to say that? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, even if you have the context of what, um, get to that place where you can actually express certain things, especially if you if you have a trend of holding on to things you know, whether you're married or whether you're a child that may be going through things or having issues with your parents, you and your parents don't see eye to eye or maybe you have things going on on your job that you just feel like you can't talk to anyone about i i can tell you from experience holding those things in and just finding other things to do is only a temporary fix is all and when I say temporary, I mean like days, sometimes hours is gonna is going to come back because it's not that it's not that you're necessarily looking for a solution per se. The first thing to do is just to express yourself and then give me at that point you can collaborate with the person that you're talking to to maybe find a solution you know, so but the first initial thing is to have that conversation. The first initial thing is to get it off of your heart get it get it is especially if you can feel it if you feel like a tight just wait in your stomach Are you just because you know is bigger than just the mind because sometimes when is when is affecting your mind it literally affects your body in a negative way, especially when it comes down to stress and depression all those things so it'll just it have you been just it literally deteriorate, deteriorate. You are to a point where once that damage is being done Oh Over and over and over and over, it'll get to a point where you may just feel like giving up. So to kind of help you get to the point that you don't even reach that place of feeling like giving up because I've been there, I've been to the place where I literally felt like giving up, like, literally, so, but had I had people who I felt like I could trust had I had this conversation, these conversations that I had this knowledge about mental health, a lot of things that I've gone through, went through in that area could have been prevented, you know, so but I mean, I'm not regretting it, I got that experience, I was able to grow from it, I'm learning from it. And um, isn't this still a journey, it's not like a Sunday, just you just have one conversation. And it's over with, you know, especially if you've gone through years and years and years of things, building up and building up and stacking and all this negative stuff just stacking on top of each other, you got to get to a point where you can find that person that you that you trust, have that conversation with, get those things off your chest, and not necessarily looking for an answer all the time. You know, just it's just even if you just want to say, Hey, I'm having I'm having a bad day, you know, and don't try to disguise that bad day as a good day. If it's making you feel bad. If you feel negativity, don't don't try to disguise it as a good day and just try to brush it off. That's what I did for years, I felt negative energy, I felt bad things. And instead of addressing it, I tried to some kind of way convince myself that it wasn't bad, and I just let it go. But guess what it did, it came right back up. And then it came and then a year later, it came right back up. And then I'm bawling and crying and don't know why I'm crying and all these things. So definitely, if you're listening, and you, you don't you have not gotten to that place yet where you are even having these types of conversations. Do that ASAP. Like, do that asap. Don't remember, because life is too short. I mean, none of us know when we're going to leave it. So why not spend the time that you have happy, if you're able to, and you're able to because you can express yourself, you just have to be open enough to do it. Find find someone find find a group of people that you can feel like that you can feel free with like Don't, don't, don't put yourself in areas where you feel constricted. And when you feel like you can't be yourself and you feel like you got to hide who you are, you got to like you gotta hide how you feel. Put yourself in a circle to where you can express yourself. And people can keep you accountable. People can say, Hey, how you feeling today, I remember what you told me yesterday. So are you is everything good. You need people like that, to not just keep you on track, because they're they're checking on you. But they're going through something as well. So being out, you have a pattern of people helping each other, and helping you got a free group of people just helping each other grow and get to the place where we all want to be, which is happy. You know, and spreading that joy and spreading their happiness. So yeah, don't know, don't don't put these things to the side, definitely, consistently pursue a walk of being free. And that starts with being honest with yourself. That's the first thing I had to be under myself, and realize that Antoine, I know you got all this stuff going on. I know you got dreams and goals and you pursued all this stuff. But that's not going to give you happiness, if you're trying to use that to bury things that you have been through or you're trying to use that to bury trauma, because you cannot bury trauma. That is you can bury like any other thing, but you're gonna smell it after a while, if you if you bury some dead animal in your backyard. Eventually, once you start decomposing, you're going to smell that thing because one thing you did was put dirt on top of. So that's the thing. So don't plow things and try to you know, spend a lot of money and just try to find things to cover these things, the best thing to do is to actually talk to someone to get the ball rolling to mental freedom. Because I can tell you from my own experience right now, I was not really able to say that I was just happy. I've had happy moments. But being happy because the difference happy moments and may have is two different things. But so I can really say that I feel like I'm in a state of happiness after having conversations. That was very, very, very difficult. I'm not gonna lie and say oh, just it just happened. No, I had to kind of ease my way into it. But once I got that first dose of expressing myself after that is like okay, I'm liking this I'm liking the effects because I'm feeling emotions and I'm feeling a sense of freedom that I'm not really used to like I'm not used to like this, like just happiness after talking about some that I've been having because there's something that much that I've been ashamed of, I was never want to tell them about it, I went through depression, I want, I never want to tell anybody that I had suicidal thoughts. I never want to express that at all. But once I expressed those things, it did the opposite of what I thought it was going to do. Because I thought it was gonna be a sense, like, people don't look at me funny, or judge me or whatever. But it was the opposite. I had people who I trust people who I love people who love me, people who trust me. And now if I have a moment, it's not anything for me to say, Hey, I'm having a moment because I already told him I said, it, it may be a time though I may call you. And it may want to express because we'll has gotten his his dose will has gotten his dose of, of me, of me having to express myself and him being the person that he is, he was able to actually help me feel comfortable, more comfortable with expressing myself. So I'm thankful for you for even being that person in my life. I make it it's no coincidence. It's no coincidence that I moved to Nashville, you know, we became awesome friends. And you being in the profession that you're in me going through the things that I've been through, and never having anyone to talk about and never feeling comfortable at all to talk about it. And now I have someone that has opened me up to a place where I can just talk about it, and it makes me and it makes me feel better. So it's not it's bigger than just a friendship, you literally changed my life. Like literally, like, it's bigger than just, hey, we have fun together, we laugh and joke is bigger than that, you changed my life to a point where I probably wouldn't be having this conversation. You know, so it's, it's, for me, it's bigger than just, I mean, friendships are for a reason. That's why That's why I'm saying what I'm saying. Like find that find that friend group that you can be yourself, you can just feel free with, because that's what changes your life. And my music is better. Um, me cutting hair, I'm happy when I'm cutting hair, things in my life that I'm attached to. I feel better now than I felt before I moved to Nashville. So I'm just grateful for you just for just being the person that you are. And just having the mindset that you have and, and just being able to talk to a person like myself and make me feel comfortable and make me feel like you're not looking down on me or looking looking, looking at me like something is wrong, but really just made me feel like the opposite. Whatever I'm feeling I can come to you. So it's not anything. It's not one thing that I am too ashamed of to not come to you and express because I how you opened the door and created this thing. This how you basically just made the friendship just so free. You know. And so yes, this is awesome. I appreciate you. Think Antoine think you started with the man in the mirror. Yeah. You just help a lot of people. Appreciate you. I appreciate you. It takes a lot to be vulnerable. Yeah. But the power that it is in sharing your own story. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, my pleasure. Awesome.
Erika Lathon:Tn voices is now hiring qualified applicants to build positions all across the state. You can be part of a growing team that puts the mental health of Tennesseans first and thrive in a compassionate work environment to apply to join our team log on to tn voices.org/employment. Thank you for joining us. If you enjoyed today's program, like subscribe and review this podcast. If you or someone you know is in need of mental health support services, log on to tn voices.org or call one 806 70988 to join us next time as we get candid