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Can+Did, a TN Voices Podcast
Can+Did, a TN Voices Podcast
Steve Johnson
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In this episode on CAN+DID, hosts Rikki Harris and Will Voss sit down with Steve Johnson to talk about his mental health journey and his love of being a coach for the Bordeaux Eagles!
If you or someone you know needs assistance with mental health support, contact 1.800.670.9882 or log onto TNVoices.org.
Interested in sponsoring an episode of CAN+DID? Contact Mark McFerran at Mark.McFerran@TNVoices.org
Handed is a podcast of Tennessee Voices about mental health, featuring stories of people who have overcome mental health challenges, as well as those who have helped people overcome mental health challenges. This podcast is about authenticity, and it's intended to give a voice to those who are passionate about mental well-being. We hope that by sharing stories, listeners understand mental health and just how important it is in our day-to-day lives, and they will help us reduce stigma. We want you to know that so many who have struggled with mental health can and did overcome their challenges. And if you are struggling, you can too. I'm your host, Ricky Harris, CEO of Tennessee Voices, and with me is my favorite co-host, Will Voss, COO of Tennessee Voices. Welcome to our podcast. Let's get candid.
SPEAKER_00Thank you to our candid sponsors who made this episode possible. The Omni Family of Services is a multi-state human services agency serving adults and children. Through a trauma-competent lens, they provide a continuum of care, including foster care, family preservation, behavioral health, and primary care services, focused on helping kids, families, and the communities they live in strong and healthy. To learn more about the Omnifamily of Services, or to contact an office near you, there's a link provided in this podcast description, along with the contact email if you or your business would like to sponsor an episode of Can Did.
SPEAKER_05All right, welcome, welcome to this episode of the Can Did podcast. You're here because we want to get candid. Um, I'm here with my co-host, Will Walsh.
SPEAKER_03Hello, hello.
SPEAKER_05And we have um a I think a really good treat. I'm I'm so excited about this interview with Steve Johnson today. So why don't we just open it up and let you just tell us what you do, where you are in life, what's going on with you, and then we'll dive into some questions.
SPEAKER_04All right. Well, um, been fortunate blessed to be married to my wife, Glenn, for 31 years. I've got two girls, uh, one that's a sophomore at Auburn, and we're having a blast because she's a tiger paw. So we need to go down there and see that line things. And then we uh uh have a daughter that just graduated from Lipscomb University, and she works at a uh and she uh works in Brentwood at uh a day care daycare place and Brentwood Baptist Church.
unknownI'm sorry, Brentwood Methodist Church.
SPEAKER_04And uh, you know my hobby. Um I've been really fortunate the last 11 years. I'm very involved with uh what's this called the Bordeaux Eagles inner city football team that um uh just it's my passion. Uh I had all girls, so I had to keep coach football to keep my master land going.
SPEAKER_05I love it. Oh my goodness. I heard a little bit about that um that basketball team. We're gonna dive into this kind of a little bit about that in a minute, but we've got a Lipscomb grad over here.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yes, I know you're a proud father.
SPEAKER_02It's a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_05What a great school, what a great school. And we have lots of mutual connections, this organization, as we were just describing before the podcast. We we now like mapped all the people we know in our circle, and it's a lot. It is crazy how small the world is. Anyway, um, would love to know a little bit about your um your journey. I'm learning a little bit about your your job, which is really fascinating. But the basketball team, it's a football, it's a football position. Football, sorry.
SPEAKER_04Well, but I know what you're saying because I did do basketball also. So you want a little bit about that?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah. How'd you get into that? What's that about? I know you've made the joke about sports, but it seems like what I understand is deeper with you know, I was so fortunate.
SPEAKER_04Um when I was little, um, it was the first time that um the integration of sports. So uh I my little Lily team was when I was nine years old, uh, two young boys from the inner city also, and uh their name was Fruit Bell and Terry Ewing, and they just basically lived with us.
unknownAnd uh we had a blast. And I played with both of them from I was nine to I was 19.
SPEAKER_04But then we kind of broke apart. I was working at National Wire, and here comes Terry Ewing back into my life, and um he had been about you know for 12 years, and they said, Hey, I said, Man, I'd love for you to come to work for us while you're looking for a job. So he did, and then two days later he said, Hey, I just found a football team. Would you help me with the quarterbacks and the offense for a couple of days? And now it's been 11 years, and it's literally just right down the street in uh the Bordeaux area and next to where our office is, and uh it's just kind of been a big passion of mine and my my family's, and actually it's helped me so much in what we'll talk about today about anxiety because it's all about um when you help someone else, it helps you take your focus off yourself. And it's just been it's it's by far been the biggest blessing to myself and my family.
SPEAKER_05Well, there's a there's a self-care tip number one. Volunteer work will help you kind of reset your priorities, regain some vision and for sure. Yeah, that's cool. Okay, so you said it already, but you kind of told me this before we started too. You're you're in leadership position, you've kind of taken this path with Nashville wire that you didn't expect to go as far and as good as it's gone, and it served you in some really specific ways. And you talked about your mental health already. So being that this is a mental health, you know, talk, go ahead and dive in with us. Where did that begin for you and what's the journey been like?
SPEAKER_04Okay, so it's really interesting. Um, you know, sometimes it this will be the biggest blessing that I'll show you with that, but it kind of turned into uh something that caused my anxiety and my depression. Um wouldn't wouldn't change anything in the past. But so I have two older sisters that are 12 years older, 10 years older, and then an awesome mom that uh at today is the one university she went to heaven. Um great woman, uh, lived to be 89. But so I had three moms. So every time that I tried to uh it's something almost kind of went death when I was starting to fall, they'd throw a pill underneath me and you know soften low. So my wife will tell you that's kind of the worst thing ever happened to her, is that I had three moms.
SPEAKER_05Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_04But um, with that, I probably uh in meeting with some some professionals, I didn't learn how to fail uh growing up because I was blessed to have three moms to keep me from failing. So then as I got into my personal life, I realized I had the fear of failure because I had never failed. And so it was really a tough situation to uh to dive into, and I just didn't want to let other people down. And um, very blessed. I'll tell you one thing to go into it. Um, you know, the toughest years were probably in anywhere from 20 to 15 to 20 years ago when I was really the toughest times. And I wouldn't, you could not give me a million dollars versus going through that, but I wouldn't give you a time to go through it again. So um I'm so glad I went through it. Yeah, and I learned so much. Uh uh my Christian walk is so much, but what I'm blessed with is it has enabled me to identify other people that are going through anxiety and and and which turns into depression. So that's kind of what started me.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_03How much can you relate? Go ahead, go ahead. Yeah, I mean, I I I think about, you know, one loss of a parent, you know, that I I was we're getting ready to mark uh time is is going faster than I had ever expected. I think it's four years for my father this year. Okay. Um, and I think about my my mother and my grandmother and my sister and my older cousins. I'm the official youngest baby, uh grandson, the son of, you know, the only boy. And I think about all those pillows that were there. And one of the things that just stuck with me and what you said is that you know, going through that experience, you know, it had to happen. And I tell people often, you grow through what you go through. A lot of times. You grow through what you go through. And and having that background, you know, I I know for me as a Christian, it's it's like, all right, well, I went through all this, but I wasn't alone. Right. You know, keeping the faith along the way and learning these lessons. And you mentioned earlier as far as pouring into others. Uh, that's something we've talked to staff about. You know, how are we helping others? You know, it's a part of self-care volunteerism. And there's just there's a lot that can be done. Um, and there's a lot that we can take in as we are going through things. So oh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Well, I I was thinking about your story too as he was talking. Um, I I also keep thinking about, I mean, fear fear of failure is very common among people. There's so many people who struggle with that. You mentioned that um you're a Christian, and I think in the Christian faith, it's also a struggle because there's this expectation that you never, you know, do anything wrong. Oh, everyone's looking at you as an example. Um, how has that part of your journey played into this, helped, and been difficult?
SPEAKER_04You know, by far, it's it's what I grew up my faith um during those times just went um thank goodness skyrocketed. Again, that's why I say you couldn't give me a million dollars versus going through that. Um at the same time, it's enabled me to identify with some other folks I can I can kind of pick up. And uh one of great I love to to hear to the things that would help you go through and I I finally figured out that fear uh through a uh a um just a pop a preacher doing a broadcast that stands for false evaluations appearing real. Oh, I love that.
SPEAKER_02Wow, oh we can write that down.
SPEAKER_04So uh well it's interesting you say you write that down because this is the other thing about what going through this. So I just brought by this year's book.
unknownUm this there's let me start with this to say there's a trick question out there.
SPEAKER_04The question is, what's the best exercise to lose weight? And people say swimming is that well, the answer is it's the one that you'll do and one you love. So when I share what this is, this is what works for me. So about eight 18 years ago, I started just writing stuff down in books like like this one says, eight has four letters, but so does love. Enemies has seven letters, but so does friends. I just happen to put it on this. So I put things like this in this book. Um, so I have now 14 of these books, and I just put things down, whether I've heard it during a sermon yesterday, or like what you just said, oh, I gotta write that down. I just I just listened on the way here um of something from from um Alan Jackson, you know, from Murphoro. I was like, oh, I gotta write that down. And so that's what works for me is to have a book to write things down because what really helped me in my Christian walk, it's because I write those things down from my helping others in anxiety and depression. You know, um, you're way too young, you know, both of you are way too young, but in 08, 09, we had a pretty major recession.
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_04Well, we had um, you know, we've got three plants that I worked for, and I'm in charge of bringing the work in. Well, we laid these guys off and they were paycheck to paycheck, and it literally, I would fake it till I made it on the way to work. Um, I would get there and all day long, man, I was Mr. Energy's, but I'd get in my car and I'd literally cry for the 30-minute commute because I just couldn't, because I was I felt so much pressure that I'm not bringing enough work, and so we're laying these people off in the plant. Yeah, so um now I get to go back because you know, times right now and the COVID and just so much going on, and there's a lot of things going on, but I go back and I open them up and go, oh, this is what happened in 08. It gets nothing to compare to now. So that's what helps me. So to answer your question, it's um what I went through gave me more tools to grow my faith, to help others, but to also focus on the positives. Um, so that was that was really my what my tool.
SPEAKER_05And do you find that like talking about your experience with anxiety and depression draws people to you that need to hear from you?
SPEAKER_04Like they do.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I'm so glad you asked that question. So here's the perfect thing. So when I was going through this, again, this was the worst part, was probably 07 to about 09 or 11. If I was an alcoholic, I could go to AA. Um, if I was a if I had any addiction, there was a group for it. But there wasn't one for anxiety, there wasn't one for depression, a group. And uh that's why I call myself a recovering depression dick, you know, the person alcoholic. It's another word, you know. Don't Google that, that's what'll come up. But it is um that's what I I couldn't find that there. So it's interesting you ask that question because what helps me the most, uh AAs get together and they talk to each other, but you want to know you're not the only one going through it. So, what my my secret sauce for me being able to conquer my what I call my thorn in my side is to help others with that. So I just spread the word, say, if you know anybody that's going through anxiety or depression, can I hear that? So we I love to be drawn to them because that's the best way for me to get through mine is to talk with someone that maybe's going through it.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's I think that's important.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. I think about the work that we do here. You know, we talk a lot about lived experience and being able to share your story, the power of a story. And I'll tell you by coming on this podcast, you are helping someone. Uh, you know, as men, we don't talk about how we feel. Um is it's so much stigma surrounded about mental health. And well, you know, you gotta fake it till you make it. I heard you mention it earlier. And we try to encourage people to know that it's okay to not be okay. And by sharing your story, you're helping someone else who may have some tips and tools that you can take away that you can learn from every time you know you pulled out this journal for those who are listening. Um, and I think often I was a big journaler. Um, poetry is my biggest thing. That's how I get things out. And I tell people now, we've got the world at our fingertips with our phones. Yeah. If you don't have the notepad, you don't have the pen, you can at least type it in somewhere, get those thoughts down on paper and be able to look back on it and say, wow, I'm in a different place today than I was when I wrote this. You know, it's power, powerful tools.
SPEAKER_05I I have two thoughts, like two directions. I think they kind of come together, but I'm trying to figure out how which way I want to go to simplify. But one of the things y'all are talking about right now, I think just to stay on that, is your experience as men talking about your feelings. I don't have that experience because I'm not a man. So I want to hear kind of from your perspective. I'm hearing a lot in the news or a lot of you know, opinion op-ed, people talking on the radio, and literally just recently heard something on the radio from a DJ. People are talking about what happens when you know we get men to start talking about their feelings, what happens to our dependence on men to be these brave people to go be in our military or to go be part of the police force? Obviously, I definitely support women in those roles as well, but right now you're both men, so we're talking about this from men's perspective. Um, but what does that look like? How do you both hold bravery and courage to do maybe some hard things and at the same time hold vulnerability to talk about your feelings? Can they both exist at the same time? Do they have to be separate things?
SPEAKER_04I personally don't think so. Uh I can looking back, um, I'm a little ashamed of the time that I wasn't transparent. I'm not a little, I'm very, you know, I was I was something I really wasn't. But the fact that I'm I enjoy it and I really feel like it helps other, usually younger men, but I've I've met with older men. Um it's just a really a tool that is I think each man needs to be able to put in their toolbox to be vulnerable and know that it's okay. I'm gonna write that in my book. It's okay not to be okay. I love that saying. It it is me, but I've never heard it put that way. So uh to answer your question, I really feel like Ricky, that it's it that is the key from a man to be transparent and not um be fake um in every area.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know, for me, it's holding it to the same high regard. Um, I was going back to a conversation I recently had with my nephew, 10-year-old, letting him know that, hey, you gotta let me know when things are not okay. When you can't express how you feel, it's okay to say, I don't know. Let's start pinpointing where the issues are coming from. And the same fist pump that I give him when he's walking across fifth grade graduation receiving his award, I give him that same fist pump when he's letting me know how he's feeling. You know, the same fist pump that we get when we I renovated my closet. I was so proud, like, yeah, I did this. I want that same fist pump and that appreciation when I say I'm not having the best of days. So if we can carry those two in the same weight and not put more on the other, I think there's room for both to exist in the same arena, Rick. You know, you mentioned we can be vulnerable and also lead and show bravery in the same manner. And I think that's for anyone.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Wow, I think that's a great lead into my other question about leadership. So the football team.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_05So 11 years now, what was supposed to be a couple of days. Right. Why? Why did you stay with it? And where are you now?
SPEAKER_04Okay, well, this is this may be a longer podcast because um this is my uh this is my passion, and and it has been so let me start off with this one. You'll see on here, so everything we do there is there's no secret. Okay, everything. So I was telling you about my my friend Terry Ewing. So um, this is our our team slogan, our logo, everything that we want every kid to learn. But it goes like this it says, There's no secret what God can do, what he does for the Eagles, we're the eagles, what he does for the Eagles, he can do for you.
unknownI don't need no gang, I don't need no revolver. All I need is my heavenly father.
SPEAKER_04Once was lost, now I'm found. Pick me up when I fall down. Once was blind, now I see God's been good. No, uh-uh, great to me. Every time I think about all the good God's done for me, all I can say is ooh we, ooh, we. So now you know why I have passion. Well, Terry wrote that, and it is just we have young boys from the age seven to age 13, and it is just amazing um to see our biggest uh goal is for a kid to be bummed the season's over with. So I coach for about five or six years. Now I'm kind of in the leadership side of it, and love to film the voice so they can see it on themselves on YouTube, and it is just uh it's just the best way for me to um give back. And it's just God put me in a great place in Bordeaux for my work, and our practice field is five five um minutes away. Um, you've probably heard of Solomon Builders that have Ty Osmond. Did you know Ty Osman's story? Yeah. So okay, well, Solomon Builders, I knew Ty forever, and for 27 years, and he owned Solomon Builders, and our building was a kind of falling down, and it's in the Metro Center, and we go play Brentwood Blades and all those places.
unknownI had these really nice places.
SPEAKER_04And so Ty came to me and said, Hey, I want to we want to get back. What can we do? I said, Ty our building's falling down a little bit. Could you maybe put an extra roof here? And you know, can we have this or that? He goes, Man, this is what Solomon's gonna do. This is on a Thursday. Um, a week and two days later, Ty died in the Dunk River. No, he drowned, just tragic. Well, there Solomon builders and all of his people that helped subcontractors. Now we are the building. You wouldn't believe what they did for us. So we have the sign up there, up there's no secret. And so we make it's bigger than football. Wow, that's our slogan. And idle time is dangerous time. So we just really try to do as much as we can to make football, yes, we love wins wins, but it's so much bigger than football. So yeah, I think you asked me what time it was, and I told you how to build a watch.
SPEAKER_05Oh no, no, no, that was that was good. Uh are you guys attached to a school or is it in independent.
SPEAKER_04It's a little, so we play the Brentwood Blaze and we play the Mount Juliet Bears.
unknownAnd um yeah, there's it's just a it's just a it's a Little League football program.
SPEAKER_04And so we play our home games on Metro Center Fields.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04And then we practice at Heartland Park. And um what that's why we're really for this daylight saving time not to end because at the end of the season we're out there with car lights trying to practice. But so that's it's it's just an organization and and it's during football season but we got such a huge coaching staff that on like even started in April on Sundays and Wednesday nights we do just a little bit of training. And again it's just to keep the boys active because idle time in these times are are dangerous to us.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And to give them not all more blessed with a father. You were saying um you lost your father four four years ago. A lot of these young men don't have fathers in their lives. So um it's to give them let them know they don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. So you're not going to go out there and make a difference at first that's where I'm blessed to be there 11 years is they I'm confident they know how much I care now. Yeah that they didn't know the first three to four years. So you're seeing some of these kids grow up I mean what are the ages that they can start and so they started seven so my biggest my my biggest um when I first was with Terry we had four or five years that were absolutely um we were we were all in I mean I I I was so blessed with wife and daughter but you know I wouldn't miss practices I got an old van that took out seats and said get in where you fit in and oh my gosh and we were we were I'll be telling you I'll be honest with you one year if we got beat it'd been 100% coaching because we had career.
SPEAKER_01Wow we'll be right back after this short break TN Voices is now hiring qualified applicants to fill positions all across the state you can be part of a growing team that puts the mental health of Tennesseans first and thrive in a compassionate work environment.
SPEAKER_04To apply to join our team log on to tnvoices.org slash employment welcome back so we just really and so we kind of made it up Tara and those boys were 13 and 14 now um you know they're 23 and 24 and some great stories um and some sad stories um but one uh is a we call him jojo everybody has a has a a nickname because that's that's just Terry coach Terry just and them so this kid was from Joe Johnson and so he said you're Joe Johnson's finest so he's Jojo nice and then the next kid comes out there and he's just huge he's the ditty and so those boys uh who Terry and I became the closest and then um on the side part of it there was a young man named Mike Mitchell and um the year after he played for me uh he got cancer right via my sarcoma and he was supposed to live for uh about three to four months and he lived five years and he is the most amazing story you'd ever want to know uh 30 for 30 people did a video one time I'll give you that it's fight like mike.tv we've had over 100 000 views but Mike uh became a son to my family through that whole time and when you've seen that movie Mike says surround yourself with good people focus on the positives because the negatives just bring you down and then he says set your goals really high if people don't like laugh at your goals are not high enough so honestly I mean this podcast I hope helped one or two people Mike's movie would help thousands I can't tell you how many people I've said it and said watch this with your son because that nine minute movie and the last thing Mike says when he walks out in the uh out of this tunnel that we found well it was Band Stadium so we did a lot of video he said my goal in life is for people to talk about me and then he says he goes talk about me for a long time but for the right reason because Mike said Coach D please don't ever tell anybody I have cancer. I want them to like or love me because I have cancer yeah I want them to like or love me because I have my because I I'm Mike Mitchell and his stories again a whole nother podcast that he met Julio Jobs I mean that was strictly a guy story our youth minister wrote somebody and John T knew somebody of course Jim knew somebody and Joe knew somebody and the next thing I know John T says hey you got to call this and we're there with the agent and we go to this game and Julio comes up to Mike and goes come on jump in Mike and jump in this car and Mike goes Julio I got a hundred things to ask you and I can't think of one right now. Oh so again a long story of why I love the board of Eagles.
SPEAKER_05We will definitely link that story in the podcast and share it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah we'll make sure we have all that man I know there's so good stuff and then so many little roses to go down what are you thinking my mind goes to where does this where does this come from within you what's that core you know I guess what go ahead today would I say today is today one year one year for my mom my mom from day one she we just kids lived in our house this is nothing of Steve Johnson. This is that's only I I only knew it she loved to tell the story Terry was on this side and Frick was on this side and we were driving to practice I was 10 years old and she said um she said Terry said look back here miss johnson we look like an Oreo cookie oh my gosh and she told that story over and Terry who was my best friend still to the day today who works for John T. Oh my goodness and uh it's just you know that's just all I knew so it's nothing that what's in me it's it's the same as if if my dad was a carpenter and I was a you know a carpenter. It's just why are you a carpenter? Because my dad that's that's I didn't know any different. So it is and that's why I love to say this is nothing about Steve Johnson. This is just all that I know and the best way to be blessed is to bless yes yes and these kids especially Mike and then his best friend Biggie um you'll meet Biggie in the video the and biggie's like her son now and 25 and just doing so well. So I just didn't know anything else.
SPEAKER_05That's I mean that speaks to the power of parenting right some mom mom living you know still is making the difference and then just keeping it going. That's amazing that's amazing and so much of what we do in our organization is working with parents who have children with mental health needs and we do we have a particular focus on providing the parent support but just managing helping the parents learn to manage the situation versus just working with the child individually because we know how powerful it can be. We also know that kids can have really hard experiences and it can be really hard for parents to figure out how to parent in the in those experiences and in those traumas and all those things and much like I think probably what you described of the team that you're working with they're bringing a lot of experiences from their background that are hard but yet they're overcoming those circumstances.
SPEAKER_03You know we we talk about all right what are your community supports looking like as far as providing that support on your mental health journey and it's moments like these where it just it's another resource for us to be able to say hey this is a program out there if this is the strength of you all that you want to be a part of or here's a here's some success stories of how this can't work and how it's possible to be able to be supported outside of just the family. Yeah because what we know is that there's a it takes a village it takes a village.
SPEAKER_05Yeah I know that we've got a lot to be thankful for yeah we talk a lot uh to our staff and I've been talking to them for so well since the pandemic about the importance of self-care as we all kind of experience together just the anxiety going through the pandemic and we recognize self-care means a lot of different things to different people but what we said to them over and over and over was you have to make sure you're addressing your whole self. When you when you work on self-care it has to be mental physical social and spiritual there has to be all those if you don't have some self-care practices in all those domains then you're you're not fully addressing your own needs. And so I I guess I'm one of the areas we dove a little bit into with our staff was spirituality because we find that it's hard to talk about it in the mental health world because we don't know what everyone believes we somehow equate spirituality straight to like religious practices but in it's really not it's really not that it's um and we've talked to our staff a lot about spirituality in terms of understanding yourself and your purpose and for a lot of people that purpose is given by God and for other people they you know they see it as a purpose that they were designed for you know other reasons or ways they get about it but obviously you think that purpose probably was driven by God's design for you.
SPEAKER_04How does your spirituality and your mental health play together it's it's one and the same to me um I love I I said earlier I wouldn't you know you could give me a million dollars I wouldn't be the Christian I am today had I not gone through um I some there was a lot of periods that I didn't know um God was all I had you know I didn't know I'd needed him until he was all I had um it'd be long drives you know work um because you know I'd be driving to Atlanta and it was for once I figured out I didn't have to listen to a bunch of music and and sometimes just the quiet time. So the spiritual part of it is I I'm so thankful and I get so upset with myself when I look at these these books and it's been seven days since I put something in it.
unknownAnd and the right thing is that's kind of things were so good.
SPEAKER_04You know and so to go back to your question Ricky is what what's how do those together I I truly finally realize they're one in the same uh I try to evaluate as Father Son and the Holy Spirit I see my personal spiritual that if if uh I even just on the way here on that Alan Jackson said you know if you want to be a hunter hang out with hunters if you want to be a fisherman you know you don't hang out with fishermen but if you if you really want to learn to do those two things and you never hang out with them you you're not gonna be with it. So if I want to be a Christian you know I need to find men and that's where I think one of the reasons I'm here today is there's a Tuesday morning group that Mark McFarland uh it's a big part of and we we're Tuesday morning every Tuesday morning um and it's just men and it's nothing about Luke 319 it's in there talking about life yeah and you're talking about the spirit and with that I found that now no I I gotta hang out with men like that but then I'm but I I can't just do that. I've got to go out and reach the ones that aren't they don't want to be a fisherman but they really need to be they they if they hang out with me long enough oh I never knew I wanted to fish well these people didn't realize they really wanted to have Christ as their first and their most important thing and then they hang out with men that that is their goal every day. So I I tell everyone and and going back to the parents I'm blessed I've gotten to work for my father for five years and his goal his motto was if you put God first family second and job third I'll have no problem with you. Matter of fact you're you'll be my best employee because you you have it well I I'm I'm in an uh environment there's a lot of people on our plants we have you know two or three hundred men there that I feel very close to and I want I I'm not ashamed. I was when I was younger it's like you couldn't put kind of going back to how do the two it's sometimes businessmen feel like gosh I can't really that's probably my toughest thing is how do you how do you make it I said you know I just gotta I I just want that when they see me I want I don't want them to see me something at night when we go to dinner and we're out there at the bars and everything and then but they see me on Sundays.
SPEAKER_05I want them to see Steve Johnson from Monday through Sunday as the same Steve Johnson from 8 a.m all the way back to 8 a.m not the others yeah no absolutely and just for the readers I'll mention two great books for people who struggle with anxiety that I have found to be extremely helpful. First is a Brene Brown book called The Gifts of Imperfection it is so good. So it's like life changing good if you really allow yourself to absorb the book. The other one is for um for Christians it's called the sound of God's applause and it addresses fear of failure and it's really good. One of my college professors wrote it wow is his name I wish I could remember a good sound of the sounds of God's applause. Okay good I'll build upon that yeah and um you know it really just building on this idea going back to what we're talking about earlier can you be both brave and vulnerable yes can you be both insecure and full of pride yes and that's a really hard only people who have anxiety and fear of failure understand to me the when I talk to people they're the only ones who understand yeah I can have both pride and insecurity that is just massive at the same time it it almost seems impossible but fair enough I think that's why I have to describe myself as a recovering anxiety or depression because it's like an alcoholic they say I'm a recovering well I I'm I'm not ashamed and I I'm kind of grateful that I have that yes but I work at it every day.
SPEAKER_04I mean there's my dad you know he he's 94 he's been so depressed the past how could you not be you've been married to someone for 69 years had I not gotten through the depressions that I did I couldn't have helped him and he and I talk daily and one of the the one of the great statements that I've learned through mine that's helped him is it is and you probably know this based on how much y'all help people but it is proven it is factual you cannot be grateful and depressed at the same time it's impossible. So I don't do this every day so I I wish I could sit there and say because this is what I do but I don't but I know it that every morning if you list your top five things you're grateful for it's literally impossible to be depressed but again that's why we're recovering I'm a recovering dress because if I don't work at that I will get there yeah so absolutely I can relate to that um I'll give you the final question then I have a little like exercise for all three of us at the end where we'll I'll have a surprise question we'll all have to answer.
SPEAKER_03Oh of course of course well we we ask people you know when they come on the the podcast how would you help someone else so think about the individual out there that's listening and they are are dealing with anxiety dealing with depression and trying to figure out you know what what's the point of me telling my story what's the point of me talking to someone else well what what advice would you give that individual wow that is an awesome question I'm glad you asked that so um the what I would share with that individual is for too long I didn't share that and it and it kept growing and it kept growing and I tell you when you do share that it's letting the air out of the balloon and it's not and it's literally letting out not pop.
SPEAKER_04I love to hear share that that example that when you keep going up and and don't the balloons get bigger and bigger and bigger and then it will pop um and hopefully it it will pop in a place that you're safe and somebody can help you but when you do let that story know and you reach out to someone it's literally letting that air out and it's slowly and but man it is all the way off your shoulders but it does take that first time and it does take you that first time to say it's okay I'm gonna borrow yours it's okay not to be okay I I I love I love that and until people know that because too many people fake it until they make it and guess what you're not gonna make it if you only fake it.
SPEAKER_05Yeah so wow that was a good question I love that that's one in my book all right so we're we're being candid and we're talking about anxiety and I don't know about you but I relate to a lot of your story around sphere failure and being anxious and it leading to depression all that kind of stuff so here's the we're gonna be our vulnerable moment. What are you anxious about right now and how are you managing it?
SPEAKER_04Wow your next will oh I'm first yeah you can let him think about it and you're gonna put me on the hot seat wow so good um you know I'm going to be with my dad this afternoon on the one year anniversary of my mom passing away yeah so what am I I mean absolutely I have so much and one of the things I learned over the years and meeting with therapists and finding out is what hurts what is what um causes me the biggest um pain and uh is when I have things stacked on top of each other. And I know that my limit everybody has different limits mine's four okay so if I'm really anxious about something at work and then something's bothering me about my wife and I or my daughter something my daughter's going through finances or the big one as a male and over sales it and sales aren't great right now. If I don't take I can't I can't add that fifth one there and or I would not be able to help my dad so it is so critical that this morning yeah it was a tough day at the office a lot going on with a lot of different things because of supply chain yeah and so meeting with my group this morning I was able to take that off my plate so that was one big one when I woke up was going to the office. So being able to take that off and then very very honestly the fact that I've been able to share with you all about I have a fear of failure that's enabled me to take air out of that balloon. So now I'm gonna be going to my father this afternoon can be a great listener and let him share but it's only going to be him so I can concentrate on that to where those other anxieties just are put aside so that I can be the the best that I can during probably the toughest day uh for my dad and myself in in a year. For sure.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03All right you know I would say for me um as an agency we're in Q4 for that um so we're getting ready to close out the year and there's a lot of anxiety around do I do we have everything ready to close and are we ready prepared to start a new fiscal year. I talked to staff uh Friday uh we do a weekend wish and a Monday motivation and what I mentioned to them was throughout everything that's occurred over this month, uh the tragedies that we've heard about, we've seen um and how it's impacted us, how are we pouring into ourselves? That is very difficult for me to pour into myself when I'm the one used to pouring. So the anxiety is sitting in I'm recharging right now and I'm having the trust that it's okay letting go delegating and if I'm not recharged we're not gonna get off on the right foot at the beginning of this fiscal year. So as we're closing I'm winding down and reassuring everybody that we're gonna get through it we're gonna everything's gonna be okay praying all along that's where that's really where my charge is coming through. So that's where that's where it's sitting right a lot.
SPEAKER_05So for me I have two daughters um one is currently off yet left yesterday to church camp summer camp for a week and um I you know mamas don't like their babies to be away for five days so uh it's a lot of anxiety and at the same time little sister is graduating from elementary school tonight wow and I'm not I'm not ready I'm I I love elementary school elementary school is a bubble I know all the teachers my other daughter was there we've been there from for nine years I know the principal we call each other we text each other they know me I know them they know my kid they love my kid and we are fixing to lose all of that to start middle school and I'm not ready. So it's been uh I really had to spend a lot of the day Sunday um preparing for just mom stuff which I usually it's usually that's usually my easiest stuff you know like I enjoy all that and it's really fun whatever the kids have going on is awesome and the hardest part of it is just coordinating in the schedule but this part is this feels a little like safety security all the things that I've been holding on to for nine years I'm losing with my little one moving up to middle school and my other one being I have no cell phones by the way while she's at summer camp so I can't even I can't even live 360 her right now it has to be completely off and it's in the adult's possession.
SPEAKER_01So I'm praying through it every every minute every hour praying that God uses this time when I'm anxious to really you know help pour into her life and show her her purpose and try not to be if I'm anxious they're anxious so let's let's try to manage that but I've just been a little bit of avoidance of my feelings until probably Sunday and then I started I started like getting this real here we go I have to deal with this feeling and I'm thinking no no we're not gonna do that we're we're gonna we're gonna be okay today we're gonna be okay today so yeah you have to shift your mind you have to shift your thoughts you have to reframe every story what's hard for me is good for my daughter what's hard for me in moving schools is probably good for her growth and development long term and just keep telling myself those positive things and not focusing on the negative so it's uh yeah I think the the reality is there's something for all of us to be anxious about on the daily and making a choice on how we manage that and for some of us we were just a little bit wired with a little extra anxiety little monitor but that's okay we figure it out it's good so thank you for sharing your story I really appreciate so much thanks for the opportunity I I do and I appreciate um our listeners today if you need us call us tnvoices.org thank you take care thank you for joining us if you enjoyed today's program like subscribe and review this podcast if you or someone you know is in need of mental health support services log on to tnvoices.org or call 1-800 670 9882 join us next time as we get candidate