The WHY

In this episode of Can+Did, TN Voices CEO Rikki Harris and COO Will Voss get deeply personal about their purpose, what led them to this profession, and how they've managed to help others on the team focus on the most important question: the WHY.

Chapters

• 1:05 INTRO: The Why
• 29:20 We're hiring!
• 29:42 PSA: Suicide Prevention Month
• 30:39 Will and Rikki dive deeper into their WHY

Transcript

Rikki Harris: 0:05

Change your I just saw that. I don't know why it's getting my logins Compiz it was automatically doing my Tennessee voices for a while and now just doing my personal. Okay. Wait, perfect.

Will Voss: 0:27

Sorry, we we've talked a lot about my why and you made me realize that I say it's forever changing and you have me look at it from a different lens that it's forever growing in something that's being added to it. What would you say your why is? What Why

Unknown: 0:44

do you do what you do?

Will Voss: 0:46

We've talked about why you started this, but you're at a level now you've been here 10 years? Why? Why do you doing? Wow.

Rikki Harris: 0:57

Well, if you know, you keep adding to the why, and you're somewhere for 10 years, and you're got 40 years of life experience. Wait, how much time do you have? Well? You know, I can I have learned to be very concise with my why My why is my family of origin. So my oldest brother is kind of where the story started in my mind. But it really started before that with my grandfather, my grandfather completed suicide when I was seven. didn't really understand it, then really no, that's even what happened till I was older. So it really didn't start there. For me, even though chronologically, that's where it began. It was really after my big brother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. And he, I remember being really young, probably eight, maybe younger. I knew there was a lot going on with him. I knew that he was actually preparing to leave for boot camp for the army. And one night, he left the house and I didn't see him for a while after that. And I was a kid. So you know, I don't know how long exactly. But it seemed like a long time. I thought maybe it was something to do with his training. My parents not that it was wrong, but didn't say a lot to me as a young child about what was going on. So it left this little mind to wonder. And that mind wandered about a lot of things. Like, does he not like us? This he and I even want to be here? Why would he just leave without saying bye? It didn't make sense to me. So I spent a lot of my childhood with curiosity about mental health, curiosity about behavior. Later, I was informed that he was struggling with mental health issues, and that that there have been some really hard times for my parents in that and they were trying to protect me, I think from from things. But looking back now and having, you know, chosen to go on this film, mainly because of my curiosity. I realize they would have helped me a lot to have somebody come into my home and talk to me about what was going on. Even even as young as I was. And again, I don't think my parents did anything wrong by not, you know, talking to us. I think they didn't know what they didn't know. I think there could have been a lot more shared with them. There could have been there could have been treatment options that weren't accessible to us. We lived in a rural area of Arkansas, and there was not a lot of talk about mental health treatment in that area. And at that time, we were talking the 80s man at will. So that was my Y. My y came to fruition one day when we were sitting at the dinner table with my family. And my dad said I think I was probably 1514 My dad said Ricky you're really smart. Are you going to be a doctor or a lawyer? And I said I was thinking about mental health and I know his mom was like, what, what? But he was, as he always was so supportive, and, okay. Okay, if that's what makes you happy, and that's what you want to do. And that's what I wanted to do. So, you know, much like you psychology for the bachelor's degree then on to grad school masters of marriage and family therapy, double masters. So I had a second in Christian education. I went to Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. So they had a counseling program. And they had two separate programs, they had the counseling program, and then the pastoral counseling program. So really based on two different approaches to helping people, their program was built on scientific knowledge of, you know, theories and psychology study and behavior, everything that anyone would learn at any is an accredited program. So but I, it very much was taught in the realm of my worldview as a Christian. So I felt like I had a really unique opportunity to kind of blend my my worldview and my faith with my passion for understanding psychology, mental health, human behavior. And of course, it wasn't too long down the road, then I had my first child, and I had postpartum actually, it was my second Good night, I am like, trying. This is the part where you realize you are aging. Like, now which kid was it that had colic,

Unknown: 6:43

you're 40 years young, we'll put it like that? Well, anywho,

Rikki Harris: 6:48

it was my second my first child actually ended up, we had a lot of concern with how she couldn't handle transitions in preschool. And we it was caught her anxiety was realized when she started kindergarten, and had a really hard time. And so we, that was the first time we were really like, wow, we are parents, and we know all about mental health, my husband's also in the field. But we have to step back and be parents and get some, some professional help on how to help her. So we really helped her and got to work through a therapy process and her transitions and her anxiety around transitions, which is, you know, not fun for her to go through but a great experience for us as parents to just be in the parent role, and support our child and, and, you know, God has a way of putting you in situations to help you see what it is your parents went through what it is the parents that you work for, in your you know, in Tennessee voices what they go through. And then after a Leah then had my second daughter, Reese, who I then had postpartum with her after she was born. And that was, that was quite an experience too. So the y just keeps on building. I know my why this is why I do it. But then you know, every life experience you go through just adds a little bit more affirmation to your choice to be in this field and gives you that flavor that you can sprinkle all over the work you do that makes it even richer, because you can you can say you understand you lived it experienced it been there in some some circumstances. So yes,

Will Voss: 8:36

yes, that's true. Yeah, you know, I look at it as a blessing that we're sitting here and we're able to share with others, you know, why we do what we do, why we love it, what it means to us? No, I asked you this question for folks that are listening, and they don't know where to begin or know how to explain their way. What What would you tell them on how to go about doing that?

Rikki Harris: 9:02

You know, walk back to the first time you ever have that curiosity about this field, whatever it is, whether it's an experience, whether it's a thought, whether it's a friend who went through something, or I know someone who said I was always the person that my friends in high school went to for advice. And it was, it was like, Why did they trust me? Why did they come to me? Is it just that I give great advice? No, it's that you have a care and concern and a spirit of just I want to help people. And that's something you explained earlier, like you had that desire. And, you know, walk back to that for those first memories, those first opportunities and what drew you here, and then it's not like let the Y be about you. If anything else at you know, we we don't like that in this field. We're altruist. Stick people, we are very much here for others, we like to make it about others, but the Why should be about you. And nobody else let you

Will Voss: 10:12

think you probably just help somebody understand their why in front and

Rikki Harris: 10:17

maybe some maybe. So I definitely know that those little moments stand out when I think about how much passion I have for this field. And I've done work and I think everybody should do their own work in therapy, whether you do that your program for your master's degree, or you do that later in life. But I've certainly done some work around this. And an early memory that I had, was being a young child and my parents were out late at night walking around the house praying. And that was unusual, not that they would pray, but that they would be outside in the dark, walking around the house, praying out loud together, was a little different. And I remember asking my older sister, like, what is going on, we were supposed to be in our bed asleep, right? We were, we were not supposed to know this was happening. And my oldest is she's, she's a lot older than me. So she's, at the time, she was probably 16 or so. And I was more like eight. And she said our brother had called home, he had been gone for a while. And nobody knew where he was. And he had called home and said he was coming home, and he was going to hurt us. And they were praying, you know, for protection and praying for him and all that. And I remember that that's not the part, the part of the story that that makes the most impact on me, is I remember knowing feeling like he would never hurt us, he would never do that. So it was almost like as a young child, I was like something is not okay. Something has happened to him to make him say that, because that's not who he is. And then I think that moment comes back and resonates with me, so many times when I work with or get to be around the families of people we work with, and recognize that there may be things that they have done, but that's not who they are. And something is, you know, causing them to struggle. And their behavior is different, but it's not who they are at their core. So that's a moment I think, for me and my wife that always sits with me know who people really are.

Will Voss: 12:38

Yes, yes, no, they are, you know, think about you know, how we connected. Never know what someone is going through, you know, even today to learn something new about you that you had experienced postpartum with your second child who ended up being in my classroom.

Rikki Harris: 13:00

That's right.

Will Voss: 13:02

And I'm attempting to teach children you know, what to do on an educational standpoint, and all social emotional skills. And I will never forget, I would teach kids to make a happy play. No. And you you know, for those of you that don't know what a happy played is, that means finish everything that is on there. Don't waste any good southern boy would exactly. And you know, you sent an email to me. And he challenged my way of thinking and about how a lot of that it could lead to certain mental health concern eating disorders. And we've got to be careful in how we say things, you know, and it challenged me and I will never forget that. And I think the core of who I am. I like to be challenged. I'd like to like to better understand that. It's a different way to think about things. Think about who you are at the core. Yeah.

Rikki Harris: 14:09

You do like a good challenge. Do you like a good challenge? Got like Challenge Accepted written across your forehead. We all

Unknown: 14:18

know, Mrs. may need help.

Rikki Harris: 14:24

You're so funny. Yes, that is so true. That is something that I also struggled with in my high school years was just an unhealthy relationship with food and I did not. I certainly again, roll Arkansas and then later rule Mississippi. So not a lot of access to education and information and better even better treatment. But I had this unhealthy relationship with food where I was, I was a really scrawny kid. And that's all people wanted to talk about was how skinny her look at her legs. I like spaghetti noodles. My grandmother called me spaghetti legs. Like for my whole life. And my sister had the opposite where she, she went through puberty really early. And so her body changed really fast. And my grandmother actually said to her, you, you're getting fat. And that messed with her relationship with food and her body image. And so I learned a lot from Southern culture, and how it impacts our relationship with food. And something I saw that happened a lot in preschool. With Parents mostly, but a reward for something. Let's go get an ice cream cone. Yeah, I brought you a candy bar, here's a lollipop for being good at the doctor. And it was like, it interests me how much we used food as a reward. And whether or not that sets us up for some unhealthy relationships with our, with our eating. And so it was it was an area studied a lot. And I did a lot of research around how you deal with that in preschool. And my mother was a clean your plate kind of mom. She did it, but only to the boys only to the boys. And so it was like there's so many things that I mean, we could talk all day, just some interesting cultural things. That really as I became a parent made me stop and and look at differently and go. What does that mean, when I say that? What What am I saying to my child? Don't listen to your stomach. Even though it says your full. You eat everything on there? Why? So yeah, good times. But it does take me back to preschool days. I know a lot of people know the story. We talk about it a lot that you you were racist teacher and her two year old classroom and preschool, which is where I got to know you. But you also, we had a little Ole Miss connection because my dad grew up in Oxford. And so we we go home and visit, we go to Oxford, and we go to Ole Miss game. So that was like a little bit of a connecting point. For us. And, and then, and then there was that, like, you were the new teacher thing that happened. That really I think bonded us a little bit. But all the things started, started our communication and something I realized about you is that you were not afraid to communicate with parents. And a lot of teachers were they I don't know, if they were afraid to upset parents or they just did. It was uncomfortable, especially if there was difficult things to talk about. But the only time I had had teacher interaction, like I have with you was on parent teacher conference twice a year. But yours was almost daily, it was a little bit of a check in. And I remember thinking like this guy knows how to talk to people. And that's a huge thing. Especially when your kid is in your care all day, I want to know what happened.

Will Voss: 18:28

It's so strange, and I equated all and grateful. It goes back to my upbringing. You have a millennial raise by baby boomers. That job I mean, I started working with a company when I saw add another state in there after I graduated from Ole Miss moved to Charlotte for a little bit. And that's when I started working with the early childhood center and landed the job. I think a month after I had moved home. I went around and I had applications printed off. And I just happen to walk the application in there like like it's just late 1960s 70s You walking around, even though there's an email and everything, and I was dressed up and I was like I want to find me a job, I have a degree. And I landed that job. And it just my parents said, You know what, even if you're garbage man, do the best that you can. And it goes back to that like your child is in my care all day. And have always been the type to say I can't know how to best support. If we don't communicate in what's going on at home. If there has been a rough morning, you know, and it may trigger into the whole day. Or it's been a rough day and let's make sure we follow up at home. You know, and it's nothing to let someone know I this is a concern and this is a success. A lot of those children you know, especially thinking of the single mom They were bringing their children in. I was a father like figure to him. Think this, the this guy is here to support me all day and wants to teach me and cares about me. So communication is key. Yeah. And it's to make sure we continue to steal, push as a major value.

Rikki Harris: 20:21

Yeah. And I think maybe there'll be the right future podcast, there's, there's a lot to unpack there that I think we will dive into a lot of different factors that, that you and I've talked about that are really cool about our intersection. But I think the thing to wrap up on would be this, I, you know, developing past, getting into the field, and my why and all that kind of stuff. And now being a CEO, and having responsibility of leading people. My favorite part about leadership has been the role of creating and mentoring more leaders. And I say it all the time, the organization, I know you hear it, good leaders create more leaders. That's something that I noticed in you as a preschool teacher, as you know, this guy's he has potential to be a great leader, because he's willing to have hard conversations, he's willing to have strong communication, which is not always easy, especially when you're dealing with kids behavior in preschool. And parents who love their babies a lot think they're perfect. But not only that, just you always had a plan for the kids you always had. You're always dressed for success. And I don't mean that you have to have the nicest clothes to be a leader. I mean, that's not what I mean. But you showed up, as if this was an important job to you, you cared about it, and you were presenting the best way possible. And I think that is something I love so much about being a CEO is helping that leaders who already have the potential inside of them to just find that path, and get on that leadership path and really blossom. And so that that's the other part of think of me that is I did a passion I had to discover later on, obviously, my passions, no health. But I was so excited to work and mentor people who want to be leaders. And it wasn't because I thought I had some incredible wisdom to impart to them, but it was because I wanted them to succeed because I could see it in them. And I was all I wanted was, man, let's let's help you find your way into leadership because it's so much fun. I love it. It's the best and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Will Voss: 23:00

You is definitely and you you got to realize that the way that makes someone feels the way it made me feel. Um, you're seeing something in people that they don't even may not even know is there. And to be able to take the time and say you know what, let's try to get let's get through this together because you've got way more potential

Unknown: 23:21

out. Yeah, yeah.

Will Voss: 23:26

Oh, actually, this you asked me earlier. Do you feel that this is your ministry?

Rikki Harris: 23:35

Or, as you said, The words chills went all the way around body? Yes, yes. Because I do think in my worldview, we all have a purpose. We all can serve the world in some way. And we all have a choice to make in doing that with integrity and with people in mind. And this is this is definitely it for me. I I know that I would not be where I am today without the grace of Lord because i i On My Own don't have all the answers. I can't tell you sometimes. how some things have just worked out. It makes no sense to me. I couldn't on my best days planned at all. But it does, it works out and it in it. It's just this beautiful thing to know that you are living your purpose. And you are lifting people up building people up and doing what you know God has called you to do and that's just love people. Just love people. And it is a joy to do it every day.

Unknown: 24:50

It's pretty fun. Yes, it's bigger than bigger than this. Always. Always

Will Voss: 25:00

As we prepare on this journey for a podcast, we're telling people our why we're explaining why it's important to have a y. What are your hopes? What's your hope? For this podcast? We say we we hope to reach million, but we reach a million people, what's our hope for them?

Rikki Harris: 25:24

I love that question. Because that question started this podcast. And the question was a little bit different, because it wasn't what do you hope for the podcast? But it was like, What do you want? What do you want to get at? What are you trying to accomplish? And I have that conversation with my leadership coach. And by the way, everyone in leadership, no matter how long you've been at, it should use leadership coach at some point, all the time. But, you know, couple times a year, or what, however you feel best, because they can challenge your thinking and, and keep you from settling in, keep you on the innovation on the What am I doing on the what's next? And how can I help move things forward. But anyway, we were talking through this, and the word influence came up. And it was something you and I talked to the directors in our organization about last week about your title holds a certain amount of information about you, Whether you speak or don't, if you say, I'm Ricky hairs, I'm the CEO. There's immediate information. And someone takes that information and decides how they're going to behave around you what's acceptable to say in front of you, how they want to feel about you, because they have past experiences with CEOs that are good and bad. So influence was a word that kind of kept coming up in our, in my leadership meetings with my coach. And I think for me, it was, if I know that I, it took me a while to accept that I had influence. At first it felt like how much difference the words si really make, but the impact of the words really start to be clear. The minute you become a leader, something's gonna happen, we're gonna be like, Oh, no, why are they so scared of me? Why won't they sit by me at the table? Not that that ever happened to you will? It's because of your title. And so I remember there was, there was a couple of things that happen where people said something like they wanted to, they wanted to be like me in some way. They named away. And I my thought was, I have to figure out how I want to use this influence. Because whether I want to accept it or not, I have it. How am I going to use it? And then it really started resonating with me, the voice that I have, I have opened doors just because of my title, I get to walk through those doors, or walk into meetings or be present or make my voice heard because I have a title. What am I going to do with that? I'll bring everything I can to the table, I'll be the voice of the people. But the other thing I can do is allow people to come in behind me keep the door open for the people that work for the organization who are served by the organization, how do I allow their voice to be heard, where those doors are that are open to me. And that's where the podcast came in. I was like we have to hear from people. We have to hear from people. So it really all came back to how am I going to use what influence I have. For better, for better and better for me is other people succeeding other people being heard other people learning from other people and building bridges where bridges may not have been built before for a good thing. So that's the hope we'll see.

Unknown: 29:25

It's gonna happen be helpful.

Rikki Harris: 29:27

Yep. Yep, I am.

Will Voss: 29:30

And that was me. I think I was one of those people that said I would love you're a go getter. That's what I'm trying to follow any. Yeah. How you have grown this agency since you first started. You have put a lot of work that we don't even know about a no into supporting and making sure that we're growing in that services out there for folks.

Rikki Harris: 29:57

And I love I love every minute of it. Enjoy it. And I'll save this. Before we wrap up. I used to hear people say, Oh, they're riding your coattails or Oh, you're trying to ride their coattails or whatever, as if it were a negative thing, like people are just gonna get close to you so they can ride your coattails better. If I have a coat towel, I'm about to see how many people I can fit up on it. Because that, to me, is what it's all about. I will not be here forever. I will not be here forever. So how am I ensuring that for the sake of this organization, there's good leadership when I'm gone. And there are people who know the work and feel confident in the work. And let's just see how many people we can get to ride on this cocktail that I've been afforded. So there you go,

Will Voss: 30:51

man, I'm thinking like this long train. And like, you know, just keep it growing.

Rikki Harris: 30:57

Make it available wedding dress, whatever you want it to be.

Will Voss: 31:01

At this point in time, you've got about 85 steps. I think we're gonna be riding his coattails. That's right,

Rikki Harris: 31:06

bring it on. We want everybody on the bus. Let's go. I love it. I love it.

Unknown: 31:14

Awesome. Well, I know we've talked about a while I

Rikki Harris: 31:19

think we're wrapping up. I think so. I look forward to our guests in the near future.

Unknown: 31:25

So excited to get ready. Oh. We wanted to do it. We can do it. We can did. We're gonna do it.

Rikki Harris: 31:34

So that's our next that's our next goal right there is to find that that final phrase about candidate to end all of our podcasts figured out. Well, it'll come to us just like the name did in the middle of the night. It'll come. Cannon did. Pass is done.

Unknown: 31:57

Thanks, Rick. Yep,